Tag Archives: integrity

Finding Comfort in the discomfort

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“Some men (women) lead lives of quiet desperation; some a scream, some a song.”

A timeless yoga philosophy is “finding comfort in the discomfort.” This is a bold undertaking in our practice, because usually when we find ourselves in discomfort, we try to wriggle ourselves out of it and move away from it. But then it will always chase us and find us. So our other option is owning up to the “discomfort” whether it is in a posture that frustrates us, heartbreak, confusion, or general lack of control in a life situation.

This is a theme I return to again and again in my teachings, and very much so in my personal practice.

Finding comfort in the discomfort. What does that mean?

When we are feeling lonely or frustrated by our current state of being or situation, we often flock towards distractions to help ameliorate the situation. But in that pattern of creating and allowing distractions as a form of medicine, we don’t fix the integral problem or habit that is what is truly keeping us from attaining contentment and or happiness. We have to recognize our habits, and make peace with our situations. We can make peace with difficult situations by having the integrity to accept our challenges and observe them with an open heart and an open mind. With patience and the acknowledgement that we can adapt and adjust to any given situation. Its not so much what we encounter but how we deal with the encounters.

It is a discipline in itself to rid ourselves of our bad habits. Start small. Give yourself permission to recognize your habits. when you realize your tendencies towards your habits you then have a choice; do what you typically do and allow yourself to continue to become distracted and avoid confronting yourself and your bad habits, or, choose to try something different, for example studying your habits and facing the reality of what you are doing and who you are being in the situations you find yourself in. Sometimes that means being sad, and alone, or angry, amongst an array of other thoughts and feelings. But if we don’t allow ourselves to experience the array of what our realities bring forth, we never get passed the issues. Sometimes we have to crawl through dark and tangled places before clarity and truth can emerge. But only when we accept the entanglement can we begin to detangle ourselves, and come out with clarity, finding what truly makes us happy. For some it takes more work than others, and that is where the practice and the true challenge lies. Self actualization and integrity can be really hard work. But the stronger you become the better you will be at dealing with what life dishes up, and life will never cease to keep serving us with endless portions. Sometimes tasty , sometimes bitter.

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

think about what you say, for your words become actions.

Notice the strength of your actions, for that becomes habitual.

Your habits create your character.

Character is destiny.

How traveling can change your life

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Traveling has been, and will always be one of my greatest teachers. I recently returned home to Seattle from a life changing trip to Costa Rica. Prior to this trip, I had not left the country for almost 8 years. The last time I left the country, I had been traveling around Mexico and Belize with my dear friend and soulmate. During our travels we kept saying to each other that things were too good to be true because everything and everyone we had encountered thus far was fantastic. But we were right, it was too good to be true, because my friend ended up drowning in the ocean in Puerto Escondido. I miss her everyday. I’ve spent the past several years healing and grieving her passing, living life each day knowing that there are no guarantees, and our existence is precious. Don’t take things or people for granted.

I caught my first travel bug my junior year of College. I took a quarter off from my studies and worked to save money to go backpack around Europe with a good friend from my childhood. We saw incredible places and art and architecture, we met all kinds of interesting and wild people. I fell in love with Scotland and vowed to go back someday, which I did a year later and stayed for 8 months. When I returned to Washington State, which has always been my true home, I got a job as a Barista at a coffee house. Thats where I met Brittany, and we decided to go travel around Mexico and Central America. We planned to go to Costa Rica, but never made it.

Returning home from the nightmare of Brittany drowning, I had no idea what to do or where to go next with my life. All I could do was live moment to moment. Everything in Seattle reminded me of my friend. I felt lost, I felt uninspired and complacent. So one day I decided to move to California. I had some friends there. It was sunny, it was something different. I packed up my VW Jetta and drove south. I saw friends in Portland for a few days, I couch surfed with a pot farmer in Chico, and a software designer in the central coast. I visited an old friend in San Diego who was in the Navy there. Then I went back north to the vicious beast of a city Los Angeles, where I stayed for two years. I had a good friend there. And a guy I liked. I bought a little sailboat and sailed and partied all of the time to try to subdue the confusing emotional state I was perpetually in. Being on or in the water has always contented me, and somedays it was scary and painful to be in the ocean where Brittany was swallowed up, but a bigger part of me felt even more connected to her. I think thats why I bought a boat. She would have said to do it too.

One day I found myself going to yoga at a popular donation based studio in Santa Monica. I had done some yoga before, but nothing that had a profound affect on me. My teacher in Santa Monica was the first teacher that gave me that profound awareness, the yoga high. I drank the koolaid, and I couldn’t get enough. Being in that practice space, on my mat, with Travis’ voice guiding me was where the real healing began for me. I realized my time in Los Angeles needed to come to an end, and that my path was to become a yogi. I sold my boat, said goodbye to my friends, and drove home to Seattle. I called my old boss at the coffee house and asked if I could come back and work, and he said he had been waiting for me. I worked hard and began researching yoga schools to study at. I went to Maui and studied with two incredible teachers. Getting deeper in my yoga practice, allowing myself to address my pain and confusion through spirituality and being in nature on a beautiful Island in the middle of the largest ocean in the world. I had found my calling. I came back to Seattle and began teaching yoga. After 5 years of teaching, I planned to teach my first solo lead yoga retreat in Costa Rica. A place I had been compelled to go to for the past 8 years. I finally made it there, doing what I love, and sharing my wisdom with others. I went through an array of thoughts and feelings. It was both relaxing and challenging to be there. I was putting out a lot of energy into guiding the retreat group, but also having moments of self reflection. I felt raw and vulnerable. I was able to peel away some layers of myself that I hadn’t been fully ready to address before. Costa Rica is a beautiful country, with kind people and an easy going way of life. People there seem to understand what is most important in life. Its said to be one of the happiest countries in the world, and its one of the most sustainable ones too. The energy of the land and the people is wise.

The last night I was in Costa Rica my group and I went to the beach to watch the sunset. We ran into the ocean and body surfed. My friend who came along on the trip with me and I looked at each other and shared a moment that we both knew would never ever happen again. We smiled and laughed and decided right then and there. To let go.

Home in Seattle again. Single for the first time in 5 years. I have my true loves though; yoga and traveling. Today is a new day, and I’m ready for whats next.

 

 

 

 

Cultivating deep conversations with yourself

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The body is your temple ~ Sage advice.

Some phrases are statements of truth, some phrases are simply opinions. The phrase “ the body is your temple” is a statement of truth. The body in which you dwell and call home, is the only one you’ve got. That being said, I recommend you start to have a really deep conversation with it.

When you are wildly intrigued by something or someone, you tend to pay attention to it in great detail, to study it, to master it. How about applying that curiosity and intrigue to yourself?

We are born and we die with the same body, yet some people go through life with little awareness of their own body. The practice of Yoga teaches us to connect deeply with our bodies, finding the connection between our mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual self; that there isn’t much of a separation between these governing bodies of the self until death, when the physical body shuts down. Where the spirit goes remains a mystery. That is left open to individual interpretation and religion, which is of course a very personal topic, and something I will leave up to you to “find your own myth” as one of my favorite minds, Joseph Campbell would say.

There is the philosophy that there lies different sheaths (or) layers of being, often referred to as the Koshas. There are believed to be 5 koshas; The food body, the energy body, the mental body, the wisdom body, and the bliss body. Yoga and accupunture practices help one wake up so to speak, to the interconnectivity and balance of these koshas. There is a great sense of disconnect many people have with their sense of self. People misunderstand what is going on with their bodies and seem to rely more so on outside sources to tell them what is and isn’t good for them. When one allows oneself to begin to recognize and listen to their body, one can begin that long deep conversation, and the benefits of that long deep self conversation become seemingly endless. You can learn to feel and listen to what your body is trying to tell you; what feels right and good, what feels wrong and questionable, and you can then begin to have that internal dialogue of what it means to honor the self. Certain movements with consistency and depth nurture and strengthen your body, opposed to movements that strain your body. Certain foods have the power to do the same. This day in age, a lot of people have terrible diets. Much of the food made convieniently available to us is overly processed or treated with harmful chemicals. Whether it be due to lack of resources and education on proper nutrition and  healthy living, or lack of finances to sustain a healthy diet, or just laziness. I say if there is a will there is a way, for everyone to live and eat well. For years society would not only listen to, but TRUST the FDA and USDA, only to learn it is just as corrupt as most money hungry corporations that don’t really care about you or me. The better you are treating your body on a regular basis, the more you will want to feed it with clean and healthy food. The more positive reinforcing thoughts and actions you cultivate, the more content your state of mind. The more mindful exercise and body work, the better your body feels.

What you put into your body is important, as is what you feed your mind. As is what you do with your body. Everything we absorb and ingest affects our state of being. Every movement we make creates muscle memory. If you don’t eat a balanced, nutrient rich diet, you can not only affect your physical health, but it can affect your mood. If you don’t move in a conscious, caring way, you affect your bodies comfort and longevity. Having a healthy body inspires a healthy state of mind and vice versa. If you continuously have negative thought patterns , those negative thoughts create stress and anxiety, and in turn can cause disease and dysfunction in the body. Your lifestyle affects your character , and your destiny.

This article isn’t to suggest that its bad to eat a cheeseburger and drink a milkshake with whiskey in it and then sit on your couch all evening. This article is to suggest becoming greatly aware of what your body wants and needs and when it should and should not have or do certain things. This article is about finding balance and moderation everyday. With all the advice and information out there, our self awareness and understanding can become clouded. Thats why it is a practice in itself to have a conversation with yourself. To live mindfully is to live well, and to live well and mindfully is to understand balance and moderation and the uniqueness of your existence. I encourage you to begin a regular practice of cultivating deep conversations with yourself, and see what happens.